Hate
by Fuzzy Niffler
Summary: Anhura knows she's torturing herself with this. But she can't help it.


**A/N:** Heyyy another Razia's fanfic. But it's not outwardly Pallikias this time! It does, however, outline how I think the only way Pallis and Anhura would ever be together. Because I'm pretty sure he hates her ass, just sayin.

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She didn't know why she did this. It was a mental torture she was putting herself, she knew. She didn't even _like_ him. Quite the opposite, in fact. But he was all that was left. All there was of... Of Adakias. And she could convince herself, sometimes, through the differences that were always, always there, that she could see Adakias in him.

But only sometimes. The differences were so vast.

He was rough. In speech and in touch. He would turn is head when she tried to kiss him while they... ah.... While her eyes were closed and she was almost convinced he was Adakias.

She wasn't his only one he used like he did. She knew that. She didn't really care, honestly. But it was another difference.

And yet she let them do what they did. _Still_.

She needed it. But she didn't like him.

"You arrogant man," she hissed. He had trapped her in a hallway. She didn't remember what they were talking about. And she didn't know why she was so angry with him. But part of her did. "How _dare_-"

"How dare I?" And his voice was too complacent. Too plain, too... too _smug_. "I'm not the most terrible one in this relationship." Her eyes narrowed. She didn't like his tone.

"What do you-" but he cut her off again. And her anger rose. She wondered if he could see it in her eyes. He might have been able to. It would be an explanation for why he was still smirking.

"Who is the one pretending here? I have no illusion about _who you are_." His words were harsh and they cut deep and she couldn't breathe for a second. They hit right where she knew he wanted them too, and her hand flew to slap his cheek. But he caught her wrist and backed her into a wall.

"Careful, _princess_," he hissed, and she clenched her jaw at that. She was no longer a princess but he refused, _refused_, to call her by name or queen. She felt a stone of cold anger in her gut whenever he called her that. His voice was the same as he continued. "Will you punish me for speaking the truth?"

She gasped quietly and glared at him. She never used to feel like this. This absolute anger.

"Why do you do this then?" she snarled, and she had never thought that she could sound like this. That she could feel like this. That she could hate anything. But she hated his slow smirk. "_Why_?"

And he laughed, low, but it became louder and, oh, there was another thing she hated.

"What?" she snapped. And he grinned and she saw too many emotions behind his eyes. She didn't think there could be so much anger and hate and _insanity_ mixed with something she didn't recognize. Or maybe she didn't want to.

"Dear princess," he laughed, leaning in, close to her lips and she tensed at the breath she felt on her skin. She should have been used to it by now. "Haven't you realized?" his tone sent a shill through her bones. "I want you to be as miserable as I am," and he kissed her violently.

She gasped and her free hand clenched around his bicep, but he was strong, and used to pain, and she knew it.

And he was pushing against her hard, and she had no choice but to push back. And she _hated_ the differences. With Adakias it had been soft and sweet, and she had never wondered why he seemed to know so much. But she met Pallis, and she learned what happened. What they had been. And still she forgave them. She forgave Adakias. She said she forgave Pallis but she wasn't so sure if that was true.

A heavy breath escaped her lips as he moved from the harsh kiss to bite and nip at her jaw, pressing her harder into the wall, and she realized it was times like these that she hated herself, just a little bit, as Pallis nipped a particular spot and a sound was forced from her throat.

She inhaled sharply as she felt his hand dragging up her thigh.

"Your majesties," a bored voice came from behind Pallis. He glanced back, and she still couldn't see who it was, but she saw the king was smirking. And she mentally slapped herself, because if he wouldn't think of her as queen, she shouldn't think of him as king.

"Sorry," Pallis murmured, clearly not, and stepped back. His grip around her wrist loosened, slowly, and she held it once he was no longer touching her. He looked back, eyes dangerous, and she shivered. "Shall we continue this later, princess?"

She let out a low noise that was not quite a growl. He laughed and took her hand forcibly, kissing it in a mock of what they were supposed to be. It took all she could not to wipe the spot and his kiss off.

"I'll take that as a yes," and he turned to walk away with the servant that had interrupted them.

She glared as he left. She hated him. For being right.

But mostly, she hated herself for that.

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**A/N:** So yeah. Hope you liked it. Not much to say. love


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